Zurück auf dem Single-Markt…

oder: to tinder or not to tinder: That is the question!

Seit einigen Monaten bin ich nach über sieben Jahren Beziehung wieder Single. Obwohl ich selbst diejenige war, die den unvermeidbaren Schlussstrich gezogen hat, saß der Schreck naturgemäß tief. Die erste Nacht im leeren Bett, der erste Abend allein vor der Glotze, verwaiste Töpfe und Pfannen, stattdessen Fertiggerichte mit dem stigmatisierenden Hinweis „EIN Teller“ oder „EINE Tasse“ – alles Neuland für mich.

Und bald schon ereilte mich der nächste Schock. Der, den ich erlitt, als ich nach schließlich aus meinem Schneckenhaus kroch und mich zum gemeinsamen Feiern an meine Single-Freundin Cora und ihre Clique hängte.

Ich traf zum verabredeten Vorglühen bei Cora zu Hause ein. In ihrem WG-Zimmer hatten sich bereits vier weitere Mädels eingefunden, von der jedes einzelne gut und gerne das Cover der nächsten Sports Illustrated zieren könnte. Umso erstaunter war ich, als ich erfuhr, dass auch sie allesamt ein Singledasein fristeten.  Um das herauszufinden, bedurfte es keiner langen Unterhaltungen – die Gespräche kreisten im Wesentlichen um drei Themen: Clubs, Tinder und Männer, wobei die ersten beiden Themen nur Mittel zum Zweck waren, um auf Thema Nummer Drei Bezug zu nehmen.

Staunend lauschte ich den Berichten der Schönheiten, auf Grund ultimativer Ahnungslosigkeit nicht in der Lage, die Unterredung durch eigene Aussagen zu bereichern. Plötzlich war ich ganz angerührt, weil ich schlagartig nachempfinden konnte, wie meine Oma sich fühlte, wenn ich ihr von Apps („Ist das was auf deinem Wisch-Gerät?“), Gender Mainstreaming („Wie schreibt man das?“) oder meinem Ärger mit der Packstation („Sind das diese Dinger, die aussehen, wie große, gelbe Adventkalender?“) berichte.

Ich selbst habe meinen Ex „damals“ über einen alten Schulfreund kennen gelernt . Die beiden studierten zusammen und er brachte ihn eines Abends zu einer Verabredung in lockerer Runde mit. Ja, so funktionierte das „damals“ noch – als wir Anfang 20 waren und es in den Freundeskreisen durch Ausbildung oder Studium noch Fluktuation gab, weil man ständig neue Leute kennen lernte. Heute sind wir Ende 20 und meine Freunde schleppen sich nach einem langen Tag im Büro, in dem sie immer von den gleichen Nasen umgeben sind, erschöpft nach Hause aufs Sofa zu ihrer/ihrem Liebsten.

Aus der Sauf-Flatrate ist ein Netflix-Abo geworden und Verabredungen unter der Woche sind ebenso die Ausnahme wie neue Gesichter auf Geburtstagsfeiern.

Bitte nicht falsch verstehen: Ich kann das nur zu gut nachvollziehen. Vor einigen Monaten habe ich natürlich selbst noch allabendlich gemütlich mit meinem Ex auf der Couch gesessen anstatt in unbequemen Schuhen über das Kopfsteinpflaster der Kulturbrauerei zum „Hungry Monday“ in der Alten Kantine zu stöckeln oder zu irgendwelchen After-Work-Partys zu rennen, weil ich nach einem langen Arbeitstag noch sooooo viel Energie übrig habe und unbedingt noch abtanzen will…

Mit diesem Problem bin ich offensichtlich nicht allein und so sind wir zurück beim Thema und meinem erlittenen Schock: Neue Leute bzw. Männer kennen lernen ist mit Ende 20 (und vielleicht besonders nach 7 Jahren Beziehung, in denen jede Entwicklung „da draußen“ an mir vorbeigegangen ist) vor allem: Anstrengend. Ich hörte Berichte von Tinder-Dates, die sich als irre Stalker herausstellten, eigentlich schon in einer festen Beziehung waren oder zwecks sexueller Experimente eine „Dritte im Bunde“ suchten, sich nach mehreren grandiosen Dates plötzlich nicht mehr meldeten oder erst gar nicht zum vereinbarten Treffen erschienen.

Wie viele Leute in festen Beziehungen hatte auch ich früher stets verächtlich die Nase gerümpft, wenn ich nur das Wörtchen Tinder hörte. Für das knallharte, schnelle Selektionsprinzip der App hatte ich im besten Fall ein müdes Lächeln übrig – die wahre Liebe begegnet einem im analogen Leben! Da werden bedeutungsschwangere Blicke ausgetauscht, man kommt sich langsam und mit angemessener Schüchternheit näher und schließlich keimt die erste zarte Knospe der Liebe auf…Ha, dass ich nicht lache! Willkommen im Jahr 2016! Als ich in die Model-Runde fragte, ob sie denn nicht auch häufig „einfach so“ Männer kennen lernen würden, indem sie zum Beispiel in der Bahn angesprochen werden, verneinten die Mädels quasi im Chor. Cora klärte mich auf: „Ganz ehrlich, ich glaube, seit es Tinder und die ganzen anderen Apps gibt, haben es die Männer einfach nicht mehr nötig, ihren Mut zusammen zu nehmen und Frauen direkt anzusprechen. Die sitzen in der Bahn und tindern, auch wenn ihnen eine ganze Meute heißer Feger direkt gegenüber sitzt. Ich wurde ewig nicht mehr auf offener Straße angesprochen.“ Die anderen bestätigten Coras Erfahrungen. Als ich daraufhin in mich ging, konnte auch ich mich nicht mehr entsinnen, wann bei mir zuletzt auf diesem Wege jemand sein Glück versucht hat. Aber als ich noch in einer Beziehung war, habe ich darüber nie bewusst nachgedacht. Klar könnten Frauen auch Männer ansprechen – vielleicht gibt es hier ein sprichwörtliches Kommunikationsproblem auf beiden Seiten. Das macht die Sache nicht besser.

Gegen 00:00 Uhr zogen wir los in Richtung eines mir natürlich völlig unbekannten Clubs und ich musste bereits ein Gähnen unterdrücken. Normalerweise gehe ich zu dieser Uhrzeit schlafen und in einem Club war ich seit vier Jahren nicht mehr, weil ich eigentlich lieber gepflegt eine Runde Billard spielen gehe als mich zu nachtschlafender Zeit auf einer völlig überfüllten Tanzfläche von Wildfremden anschwitzen zu lassen und schließlich total K.O. mit einem Tinnitus aus dem Laden zu stolpern. Das sagte ich auch den Mädels und sorgte damit für allgemeine Erheiterung. Ich verstand ihre Reaktion nicht und musste schon wieder an Omi denken…

Als wir endlich vor dem Club ankamen, wurde ich sogleich Zeuge einer Szene, die meine ohnehin verhaltene Euphorie für unser Unterfangen noch einmal erheblich dämpfte: Die Schlange war noch nicht lang, vor uns standen zwei junge Frauen in unserem Alter, die sich lachend unterhielten und brav vor der Absperrkordel warteten, bis der Türsteher sich bequemte, in unsere Richtung herüber zu schlendern. Er warf einen raschen Blick auf die beiden und sagte dann ohne eine Miene zu verziehen: „Nein.“ Schlagartig verschwand das Lächeln aus den Gesichtern der zwei Abgewiesenen und sie machten sich eilig und mit geduckten Köpfen davon. Was war denn „falsch“ an den Mädels? Was gab diesem Gorilla das Recht, ihnen zu verweigern, sich ein bisschen auf der Tanzfläche zu amüsieren? Mit offenem Mund starrte ich den beiden hinterher und schließlich den Türsteher an. Dieser begaffte (ein anderes Wort fällt mir dazu nicht ein) nun unsere Truppe und fragte nach unserem Alter. Zum Wohle der Allgemeinheit presste ich „28“ heraus, dabei war mir eigentlich danach, ihn zu fragen, ob das willkürliche Abweisen potentieller Gäste sein Kompensationsmodell für die traurige Tatsache darstellte, dass er in der Schule nicht gut aufgepasst hatte und deshalb mit Mitte 40 in tiefster Nacht und Kälte vor der Tür dieser Spelunke herumstehen musste, um den Haken einer Kordel ein- und wieder auszuhängen. Nach einer Spannungspause machte der Oger uns den Weg frei und wir durften das Etablissement betreten.

Ich erwartete, nun auf unzählige, gutgelaunte Feierfreudige zu treffen und musste mich, wie bereits so oft an diesem Abend, eines Besseren belehren lassen. Die Bässe der Elektro-Mukke dröhnten und gingen mir sofort durch Mark und Bein. Die Bewegungen der Leute auf der Tanzfläche aber erinnerten mehr an unwillkürliche Muskelkontraktionen als an Tanzen. Ihre Mienen waren wie versteinert, sofern diese überhaupt erkennbar waren, denn viele der Anwesenden hatten den Blick nach unten auf ihr Smartphone gerichtet. Ich schaute einigen Gästen über die Schulter – Tinder leuchtete mir überwiegend von den Bildschirmen entgegen. Die Übrigen waren wie gesagt um einen möglichst abschätzigen Gesichtsausdruck bemüht, was sie in etwa wirken ließ, als hätte soeben jemand direkt neben ihnen einen fahren lassen. Hatte man heute so „Spaß“? Mittlerweile kam ich mir vor wie Marty McFly aus „Zurück in die Zukunft“ – ich kapierte überhaupt nicht, was hier lief…Nun, ich wollte mir so rasch kein Urteil bilden, ich war einfach nicht mehr up to date.

So suchte ich mir einen freien Platz auf dem Dancefloor und zuckte, wie ich es bei den anderen sah, ein wenig vor mich hin, während meine Mädels die Bar enterten. Irgendwann gesellte sich Jana zu mir und raunte mir ins Ohr: „Ey, der Typ steht auf dich!“ „Welcher Typ?“, fragte ich zurück. „Der direkt hinter dir“, klärte sie mich auf. Ich drehte mich unauffällig um (was in Wahrheit nie unauffällig ist) und erspähte einen Endzwanziger in Skinny-Jeans und mit Hipster-Zöpfchen. Er nickte im Takt der Musik mit dem Kopf und schaute dabei mit angemessen angeödeter Miene umher. „Wie kommst du denn darauf?“, wunderte ich mich. Jana klärte mich auf: „Der tanzt schon die ganze Zeit direkt hinter dir, auch als du noch am anderen Ende der Tanzfläche warst.“ „Wenn der mich gut findet, warum sagt er dann nicht einfach ‚Hallo‘ anstatt sich hinter meinem Rücken zu verstecken?“, gab ich zurück. Jana sah mich einen Moment lang an, atmete schwer aus und verzog sich kopfschüttelnd hinüber zu unserer Clique. Hm, da hatte ich anscheinend wieder was nicht mitbekommen, was den Zeitgeist betraf. Ansprechen ist out. Aha. Und da wundere sich noch jemand über den „Single-Höchststand“, über den allenthalben berichtet wird…

Gegen drei Uhr waren meine Reserven aufgebraucht (bin halt aus der Form gekommen…) und meine Füße schmerzten von den hohen Schuhen, die ich zu Hause nach langer Zeit mal wieder hervorgekramt habe und erstmal hatte abstauben müssen. Ich verabschiedete mich von den anderen und verließ den Club, vor dem sich jetzt (erst?!) eine lange Schlange gebildet hatte.

Am nächsten Morgen bzw. Vormittag erwachte ich vollkommen erschlagen aus dem Koma und schleppte mich vom Bett aufs Sofa. „Der Tag danach“: Noch so ein Punkt, der bezüglich der Partnersuche eindeutig unter die Rubrik „anstrengend“ fällt…Ich ließ den Abend in Gedanken Revue passieren und war bereit dazu mich lernwillig und modern zu zeigen – und natürlich hatte mich jetzt doch die Neugier gepackt: Ich installierte Tinder. Damit ich gleich loslegen konnte, erstellte ich mir rasch ein Profil mit ein paar netten Fotos aus dem letzten Urlaub, die ich noch auf dem Handy hatte und einem kleinen, humorigen Text, der mich in meinen Augen ganz gut beschrieb. Gespannt klickte und swipte ich anschließend, was das Zeug hielt. Erstaunt – und zugegeben etwas enttäuscht – stellte ich fest, dass der überwiegende Teil der Männer bei Tinder auf ihren Profilen lediglich zwei Dinge angeben: Ihre Körpergröße und ihren Beruf, wobei jedoch Letzteres häufig nur bei denjenigen preisgegeben wird, die einen Prestige-Beruf ergriffen haben. Ein Foto im OP-Kittel, darunter die Info: „Arzt, 193 cm“ – und nun soll die Frauenwelt ihnen zu Füßen liegen. Auch die Bildergalerien ernüchterten mich schnell: Offenbar ist es ein ungeschriebenes Gesetz, dass dich von den fünf Fotos, die du auf dein Profil hochladen kannst, mindestens eines dabei zeigt, wie du vor einem vollen Teller Essen sitzt und ein weiteres durch ein Selfie dokumentiert, wie (oder dass?) du dir die Zähne putzt.

Nach längerem Herumgewische stieß ich dann doch auf das eine oder andere Profil, bei dem die Herren der Schöpfung sich ein wenig mehr Mühe gegeben haben und sich, zum Teil sogar auf witzige Art und Weise, etwas ausführlicher beschrieben. Ich verteilte also ein paar Likes, um mal zu schauen, wie es hier im Chat auf der Kommunikationsebene ablief. Bereits nach kurzer Zeit hatte ich einige „Matches“ und erwartete nun netten Nachrichtenaustausch, der bei gegenseitiger Sympathie vielleicht eine Verabredung zur Folge hatte. Stattdessen musste ich schleunigst mein Profil überarbeiten – es bedurfte dringend des Zusatzes: „Nicht interessiert an One Night Stands!“ Die eindeutig zweideutigen Botschaften, die in mein Tinder-Postfach flatterten, ließen mich nur staunen. „Willste Sex?“ gehört noch zu den originelleren „Anfragen“, die mich ereilten. Was ist denn bloß los mit den Leuten? Der (Selbst-)Schutz durch die Anonymität des Internets bringt wahrlich nicht das Beste im Menschen hervor. Im analogen Leben wurden mir solche Sprüche höchstens mal von irgendeinem Betrunkenen am Bahnhof entgegen gelallt.

Eine weitere Frage drängte sich mir auf: Funktioniert diese Masche etwa? Gibt es Frauen, die darauf mit „Ja klar! Wo soll ich hinkommen?“ antworten? Ich will damit nicht per se One Night Stands aburteilen (es lebe ein jeder nach seiner Facon), aber ein bisschen kreativer darf es doch schon sein, oder? Schließlich erreichten mich doch noch einige Nachrichten, die ein normales Gespräch versprachen. Ich tippte fleißig, überlegte mir witzige Antworten und stellte Fragen. Doch schnell stellte sich erneut Ernüchterung ein: Die Unterhaltungen endeten einfach. Einfach so. Erst wird stundenlang hin und her getextet und auf einmal kommt keine Nachricht mehr zurück. Bei Tinder begibt man sich in Chats, die einfach fallen gelassen werden wie ein ungeliebtes Spielzeug von einem Vierjährigen. Zudem habe ich die Erfahrung gemacht, dass vor der Aufnahme eines „richtigen“ Gesprächs erstmal gefragt wird, in welchem Bezirk man wohnt. Ist dieser mehr als fünf, sechs Kilometer vom eigenen Wohnort entfernt, macht man sich gar nicht erst die Mühe weiter zu schreiben. „Lange“ Fahrtwege möchte wohl niemand auf sich nehmen, um jemanden kennen zu lernen.

Wie kamen meine Mädels zu all ihren Tinder-Dates? Haben Sie ihre Schmerzgrenze derart heruntergefahren? Tindere ich „falsch“? Oder sitze ich auf einem zu hohen Ross? Bei Tinder schaue ich nun höchstens noch herein, wenn der Zug mal wieder Verspätung hat und ich bei Facebook und Spiegel Online alles gelesen habe, was mich auch nur im Entferntesten interessieren könnte.

Zusammengefasst: Alle wollen einen Partner finden (?). Aber: Im Club wird nicht mehr richtig getanzt. Stattdessen muss man gelangweilt dreinblicken und somit möglichst unsympathisch wirken. Jemanden auf der Straße oder der Tanzfläche anzusprechen ist out. Sich beim Anlegen eines Profils bei Tinder ein wenig Mühe zu geben, ist zu viel verlangt. Der Austausch von mehr als einer Handvoll Nachrichten ist zu anstrengend. Ein Fahrtweg von mehr als fünf Kilometern für ein Date ist undenkbar.

Fazit: In vielen Jahren wird man meine Leiche in meiner kleinen Single-Wohnung finden, weil die Nachbarn im Hausflur einen strengen Geruch vernommen und die Polizei alarmiert haben. Tröstlich daran ist einzig die Gewissheit: Ich werde mit diesem Schicksal bei Weitem nicht alleine sein.


Durch die Migration meines Blogs von Jimdo zu WordPress konnte ich die Kommentare nicht importieren. Damit diese nicht verloren gehen, habe ich die alten Kommentare via copy-und-paste als reinen Text in den Artikel übernommen:


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  • #36

    acnaib ellön(Montag, 22 Mai 2017 02:02)

    Wie tröstlich ist es das auch junge Menschen einen starken wiederwillen haben und so aktiv und sprachlich gewand sind.

  • #35

    Stefan(Donnerstag, 18 Mai 2017 17:31)

    Nicht ganz ernst gemeinter Vorschlag: wenn Du dem unter ‚Fazit‘ genannten Schicksal entgehen möchtest, dann mach‘ es doch einfach so wie die Braut in dem bekannten Lied ‚Nene moj do pres gershetin‘ von Vace Zela (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osFYt8k7lgk)!

    Nun, derart übertreiben muß man es ja nicht mit der Emanzipation — aber klar ist auch, daß Frauen im Grunde prädestiniert dazu sind, die Initiative zu ergreifen, zumal sie sich Männern gegenüber ohne unangenehm zu wirken sehr viel mehr herausnehmen können als umgekehrt Männer gegenüber Frauen.

    Viele Grüße,

    Stefan

  • #34

    Ein Schüchterner(Mittwoch, 17 Mai 2017 19:44)

    Naja, das mit dem Ansprechen ist so eine Sache. Ich (M) bin leider viel zu schüchtern, um (W) anzusprechen. Hin und wieder passiert es aber, dass W mich trotzdem mag, und dann entsteht oft folgende etwas absurde Situation: Ich werde subtil, aber sehr eindringlich darauf aufmerksam gemacht, dass ich W jetzt ansprechen soll. Die Enttäuschung, dass ich das nicht hinkriege ist dann manchmal sogar sehr groß. (Ein Mädel wollte einmal aus dem Supermarkt stürmen, hat sich aber prompt in der Richtung geirrt, was das ganze noch peinlicher machte.)

    Mädels, es ist völlig in Ordnung, wenn ihr nur mit solchen Jungs ausgehen wollt, die sich auch trauen, euch anzusprechen. Aber ich wollte erwähnen, dass es sich hierbei um einen Filter handelt, der nicht unbedingt optimale Ergebnisse liefern muss. Die Jungs, die einen nicht ansprechen, lernt man so halt nicht kennen, vielleicht sind doch ein paar nette dabei. (Wie gesagt, muss man nicht machen. Kann man dann aber auch nicht.)

    Clubs sind mir selbst fremd. Soweit ich das verstanden habe, sind Tanzkurse ein traditioneller Weg, der nicht den neumodischen Verhaltensweisen unterworfen ist, die man auf Tinder findet.

  • #33

    Helmut(Mittwoch, 17 Mai 2017 16:08)

    Ich kenne den genauen Ort, wo man ein Darlehen innerhalb von 24 Stunden bekommen könnte.
    Email: { credit.spring@outlook.com } für jede Menge Darlehen.

    Sie haben auch meine Bedürfnisse im letzten Monat geholfen

  • #31

    Silvi(Dienstag, 16 Mai 2017 13:00)

    Ich bin jenseits der 28, nämlich schon 49 und auch seit einiger Zeit sozusagen wieder Single (sozusagen, weil es ja noch 2 Kinder in meinem Haushalt gibt). Trotzdem lerne ich immer wieder mal Menschen kennen, sogar mit einer männlichen Begleitung, ich komme stets ins Gespräch, selbst mit jüngeren Männern.

    Allerdings habe auch ich beobachtet, dass mir in Tanzlokalen durchaus Männer nachsehen bzw. mich beobachten oder wie man das auch nennen möchte. Aber angesprochen wird man dort einfach seltener als in einer Kneipe. Offenbar ist das eben nicht das Etablissement um jemanden anzusprechen: Zu laut, zu düster, man will ja Musik hören und tanzen…. Daher halte ich es wie Ed Sheeran („…so the bar is where I go…“ )

    Tinder schreckt mich aufgrund des nicht nur hier gelesenen (übrigens sehr amüsant geschriebenen) Textes doch ab…obwohl ich Überlegungen getroffen habe, es mal aus zu probieren. Wenn man mit der Zeit gehen muss, um „Erfolg“ zu haben, dann versucht man es halt mal, oder? Allerdings würde mein engerer freundeskreis das sehr belächeln und mich fragen: Hast du das echt nötig?“

  • #30

    Jörg(Dienstag, 16 Mai 2017 02:22)

    Nun hab ich diesen lustigen Artikel auch noch gelesen: wurde vor ein paar Wochen von einem Kumpel überredet, die App zu installieren und habe sie noch nicht wieder gelöscht…

    Und das kannst Du wohl glauben: Es sieht es von der Männerseite aus betrachtet nicht viel anders aus!

    Ich glaube aber kaum, dass im Mittel auf der Straße ‚bessere‘ Menschen zu treffen sind. Nur gibt es im „richtigen Leben“ für die Meisten leider sehr wenige Gelegenheiten, das herauszufinden…
    Die App ist auch ’nur‘ eine Gelegenheit mehr. Mal sehen was noch passiert…

    Ach und übrigens: Mich haste nicht ge’like’d. Ich hätte geschrieben 😉

    Schöne Grüße,
    Jörg

  • #29

    Anja Friedrich(Montag, 15 Mai 2017 23:30)

    Klischeehaftes Jargon-Deutsch.

  • #28

    Steffi(Montag, 15 Mai 2017 17:18)

    Ich bin sehr happy in meiner Beziehung und gehe trotz Teil eines Pärchen zu sein noch supergern in Clubs, meistens mit meinem Freund!
    Aber ich würde mich nie in einer Schlange anstellen, nie hohe Schuhe zum Weggehen anziehen und erst recht nicht gelangweilt auf der Tanzfläche schauen müssen – dafür finde ich die Musik zu gut! Ich verbinde Feiern gehen nicht mit Balzverhalten, es muss nicht so sein, zum Glück gibt es auch genug Clubs, in denen es nicht so ist…
    Und zum Glück muss es auch nicht so sein, dass man als Pärchen nur noch auf der Couch rumsitzt, sondern trotzdem noch gemeinsam rausgeht. Wofür leben wir in der Großstadt :)?

    Und obwohl ich auch noch vor einem knappen Jahr Single war, habe ich diesen Zustand tatsächlich noch OHNE TINDER beenden können.

    Die meisten Klischees haben ihre Daseinsberechtigung, aber dennoch sind sie nicht mehr als das: ein Klischee. Man kann, wenn man möchte, auch alles anders handhaben.

  • #27

    Andreas(Montag, 15 Mai 2017 16:03)

    Ich habe den ganzen Tag noch nicht so dolle gelacht wie über dies:

    „Zum Wohle der Allgemeinheit presste ich „28“ heraus, dabei war mir eigentlich danach, ihn zu fragen, ob das willkürliche Abweisen potentieller Gäste sein Kompensationsmodell für die traurige Tatsache darstellte, dass er in der Schule nicht gut aufgepasst hatte und deshalb mit Mitte 40 in tiefster Nacht und Kälte vor der Tür dieser Spelunke herumstehen musste, um den Haken einer Kordel ein- und wieder auszuhängen.“

    Köstlich. Hut ab vor dieser tollen Art zu formulieren.

    Liebe Grüße und weiter so!

    Andreas

  • #26

    Jensen(Montag, 15 Mai 2017 15:32)

    Ein Artikel, der einem aus der Seele spricht! Weiter so, werte Autorin!

    Jens (31), Jung-Lehrer an einem deutschen Gymnasium

  • #25

    Wasted(Montag, 15 Mai 2017 15:23)

    Onlinedatingplattformen sind Abfall. Ich habe das „früher“ – also vor Tinder – auch eine ganze Zeit versucht, aber letztlich sind dort zu viele Creeps unterwegs. Das ist verschwendete Lebenszeit. ich kann rückblickend eigentlich keine wirklich positiven Erfahrungen in Bezug auf Onlinedating abrufen und ich war sehr aktiv. Was du beschrieben hast gilt immer noch: Am besten lernt man potenzielle Partner wohl immer noch über Freunde und Bekannte kennen. So habe ich auch meine Partnerin gefunden. Sie war irgendwann einfach da und wir haben uns nach einer kurzen Phase der Skepsis (sie fand mich „merkwürdig“ und „komisch“) ausgezeichnet verstanden und nächtelang miteinander geredet. Das war ein sehr natürlicher Vorgang.

    Ansonsten bin ich der Meinung, dass Frauen heute auch selber die Initiative ergreifen müssen. Man kann nicht einerseits dauernd von Emanzipation quatschen und dann andererseits erwarten, dass der Mann gefälligst den ersten Schritt zu machen und die Frau anzusprechen hat. So funktioniert das nicht mehr. Es hilft nicht, sich einfach nur auf totalitäre Weise auf Selbstoptimierung zu trimmen. Männer leben heute mit den gleichen, teils massiven Verunsicherungen, mit denen auch Frauen zu kämpfen haben, denn die Rollen sind längst nicht mehr so klar verteilt, wie der „moderne“ Feminismus uns das gerne verkaufen will. Und die, die kompromisslos selbstbewusst sind, sind entweder vergeben oder nicht an festen bzw. dauerhafteren Bindungen interessiert. Das sehe ich auch in meinem Freundeskreis. Langfristige Beziehungen werden von kurfristigen Arrangements abgelöst, die jederzeit aufgelöst werden können. Viele finden das gut, weil es unverbindlich ist. Für mich persönlich ist das eine Form der Pervertierung, denn sie untergäbt den Wunsch nach Stabilität und Sicherheit. Dinge, die zum Beispiel für die Familienplanung essenziell sind.

    Ich würde mir auf gesellschaftlicher Ebene wünschen, dass wieder gezielt mehr konservative Werte gefördert werden, statt auf fast schon religiöse Weise militanten Feminismus, Polygamie und totale Unabhängigkeit vom anderen Geschlecht zu predigen.

  • #24

    Thomas(Montag, 15 Mai 2017 15:22)

    Sehr schön geschrieben…
    ein spannender Einblick des heutigen Verhaltens geschlechtsreifer Großstädter zur Paarungszeit..
    Mir sind schon die Clubs mit einer Lärmkulisse die keine Konversation zulässt ein Rätsel,
    der Online-Wurstmarkt ist noch viel grusliger..
    Ich hab gerade die Hochzeits- und Kinderwelle in meinem Umfeld – und die haben sich alle nicht über Tinder gefunden, sondern auf ziemlich klassischen Wegen, durch gemeinsame Hobbys, gemeinsame Erlebnisse, so ganz normal halt.. also das gibt es durchaus auch noch…
    Das Leben findet einen weg… 😉

  • #23

    ged(Montag, 15 Mai 2017 14:44)

    wut, empörung, reibung, eigentlich eine unendliche und nachhaltige energiequelle.

    ich glaube, es ist auch ein gesundes zeichen, dass man lebt, dass man nicht gleichgültig oder unempfindlich geworden ist. und so sollte es auch bleiben.
    man muss halt etwas daraus machen, was natürlich nicht der einfache weg ist (ich finde es sehr schwer und gleichzeitig spannend, da es der kern des lebens ist).
    wenn man akzeptiert, dass das leben eine herausforderung ist (kranheit, alterungsprozess, mitmenschen, …), dass das leben oft frustrierend ist, dass man ein recht zu scheitern hat, betrachtet man es dann positiver. hauptsache: man nutzt die zeit, zum lernen, zum probieren (sinnvolle sachen).

    die frage mit tinder ist troztdem, ob man mitmachen muss und will.
    muss man einen riesenfernseher im schlafzimmer haben?
    muss man einen netflix oder amazon-prime abo haben?
    sind die menschen mit diesen abos und geräte ein stück schlauer geworden? sind sie einen schritt vorangekommen? bringt es mehr positives als negatives? sind diese leute mit sich zufriedener, offener, humaner geworden?

    du schreibst gern, du liest wahrscheinlich auch viel, du bist bestimmt kreativ. die sind qualitäten, die bei lehrern einen mehrwert haben. der punkt ist, auch wenn man aufgeschlossen bleibt, man sollte auch leben, um seine werte zu vertreten (einigermaßen), auch in einem rahmen, der so etwas nicht fördert. und da man den rahmen nur teilweise bestimmen kann (für viele berufe), muss man schrittweise vorankommen.

    ich finde das schulesystem (unis genauso) zwar formatiert und kontraproduktiv. aber ich erinnere mich vor allem an die einige humane lehrer, die gern unterrichtet haben, die kinder, jugendlichen, menschen geliebt haben. ich erinnere mich an lehrer, die mich mit ihren eigenen leidenschaften angesteckt haben. alle andere lehrer habe ich längst vergessen. wie andere leser geschrieben haben, würden sich viele schüler oder eltern eine lehrerin wie dich wünschen.

    man findet übrigens nicht unbedingt gleichgesinnten in discos.
    ich weiss, ich weiss, es klingt alles konservativ und reaktionär, muss aber nicht falsch sein.
    lass dich nicht demotivieren!

    deine meinung teilen viele menschen, auch ältere menschen. kennst du sir ken robinson?
    er hat sehr interessante reden gehalten, und teilweise sehr lustige.

    in seinem alter ist er auch nicht zufrieden, er ist sogar immer noch empört.

    der verstorbene nobelpreisträger pierre-gille de genes hat genauso das sogenannte elitesystem in frankreich kritisiert.

  • #22

    Pecuniär(Montag, 15 Mai 2017 14:10)

    „Ich traf zum verabredeten Vorglühen bei Cora zu Hause ein. In ihrem WG-Zimmer hatten sich bereits vier weitere Mädels eingefunden, von der jedes einzelne gut und gerne das Cover der nächsten Sports Illustrated zieren könnte.“

    „Ganz ehrlich, ich glaube, seit es Tinder und die ganzen anderen Apps gibt, haben es die Männer einfach nicht mehr nötig, ihren Mut zusammen zu nehmen und Frauen direkt anzusprechen. Die sitzen in der Bahn und tindern, auch wenn ihnen eine ganze Meute heißer Feger direkt gegenüber sitzt. Ich wurde ewig nicht mehr auf offener Straße angesprochen.“

    ——————————————–

    Zunächst einmal: Wir leben doch in angeblich so emanzipierten Zeiten. Wieso sprechen dann die Damen nicht einmal die Männer an?

    Zum ersten Absatz: Die meisten normalen Männer dürften das „Covergirl der nächsten Sports Illustrated“ nicht ansprechen, weil eben nur der unvermeidliche Korb in Verbindung mit einem Blick ala „Was erlaubt DER sich denn, als ob ich in seiner Liga spiele!“ folgt. Und diejenigen Männer, die solchen Damen dann genehm sind, sind bereits in festen Händen.

    Und zu dem Mut zusammennehmen: Warum soll Mann es denn hundert Mal versuchen? Nur um 99 Mal abgewiesen zu werden, damit es einmal klappt? Da ist Tinder doch viel bequemer. Da läuft es zwar auch nach dem Motto „10 percent of men have 90 percent of alle the sex“, aber man wird wenigstens nicht öffentlich gedemütigt.

    Sie haben insofern recht, dass sich das Tinder-Prinzip längst auch über die App hinaus ausgebreitet hat. Allerdings sollten sie sich vielleicht auch fragen, wieso es zu Profilen wie „Arzt, 193 cm“ kommt. Weil es zieht! Männer reagieren damit ja nur auf das Verhalten der Frauen.

  • #21

    Jens(Montag, 15 Mai 2017 13:28)

    Hallo,

    Dieser Text könnte genau auch von mir stammen. Nach einer 10 Jährigen Beziehung stand ich genauso Da, wie Du diesen Moment beschrieben hast. Ich konnte mich zu 100% wiederfinden.

    Nun bin ich selbst seit 3 Jahren Single hier in Berlin und sicherlich habe ich auch hier und da ein paar Dates gehabt.

    Man merkt wirklich das sich vieles verändert hat aber dennoch lasse ich zumindest das Single Dasein nicht einfach so verstreichen. Ich nutzte die Zeit unter anderem dafür mich beruflich weiterzubilden bzw immer noch als Staatlich geprüfter Techniker Fachbereich Informatik.

    Es klingt erst einmal danach das das Glas Wasser halb leer ist obwohl es halb voll ist. Jetzt fragt sich der geneigte Leser Sicherlich was diese Wortspielerei im Grunde bedeuten solle?

    In einfachen Worten ausgedrückt, nutze jede Zeit etwas positives aus Dir persönlich heraus zu holen. Nicht in wehmut zu verfallen, einfach die kleinen Dinge des Lebens schätzen zu lernen.

    Mach weiter so in deinem Blog!

    Beste Grüße

    Ps. Zufällig durch Spiegel Online auf Deinen interessanten Blog gestossen.

  • #20

    Rainer Noa(Montag, 15 Mai 2017 13:00)

    Zufällig auf dem Blog gelandet und musste den Text einfach fertig lesen.

    Bin jetzt auch nicht mehr der Jüngste und war „früher“ immer sehr viel auf der Piste. Man(n) kann froh sein nicht mehr zurück auf die Pist zu müssen.

    Was waren das noch für Zeiten in denen man(n) locker ins Gespräch kam und sich sympatisch oder eben nicht fand. Das GeTindere ist doch nichts was auch im Entferntesten die Gefühle wettmachen kann die man hatte, wenn die Angebetete aufkreuzte und man sich wieder einmal nicht traute sie anzusprechen. Nicht zu vergessen – während der Arbeitswoche die Vorfreude auf das WE zu spüren.

    Gruß Rainer 🙂

  • #19

    Vivian(Freitag, 28 April 2017 11:18)

    Ich glaube nie an Zaubermäher, bis ich DR MELODY traf, und er rette mein Leben.

    Beeindruckend!!! Ich kann es nicht glauben, Dr. Melody rettet mein Leben, Dr. Melody ist ein wundervoller Mann, ist wie ein Traum, aber ist echt, Dr. Melody Bringt meinen verlorenen Mann nach fünf Jahren zurück, das ist nicht alles, die überraschendste Sache davon ist Dass er mich auch von HIV-Virus geheilt hat, der seit über fünf Jahren in meinem Körper war. Rufen Sie Dr. Melody heute, wenn Sie Hilfe benötigen +233545755901

    Ich glaube nie an Spell Caster, bis ich Dr. Melody traf, meine Namen sind Vivian John, lebe in Brooklyn, ich möchte mein Zeugnis über die großartige Arbeit von Dr. Melody teilen, vor 5 Jahren war ich mit HIV Virus infiziert, deshalb habe ich meine Ehemann lehnte das Haus und heiratete eine andere Frau, er ließ mich und unsere beiden Kinder leiden, ich war frustriert im Leben, kein Körper, um mir zu helfen, ich leide mit Kindern und mein Virus war immer noch essen mich für 5 gute Jahre, nein Körperpflege über mich, bis ich eines Tages auf der Suche nach einem Zaubercaster online bin, und ich fand ein Zeugnis von Dr. Melody’s Vergangenheit Arbeit, also kopiere ich die E-Mail und Nachricht ihm, die E-Mail unten: drmelodytherealhelper@gmail.com ,, i Kontaktierte ihn und erzählte ihm meine Probleme, und zu diesem Zeitpunkt war mein Problem in zwei Typen, über meinen verlorenen Mann und mein Virus, ich sagte ihm alles, und er verspricht mir zu helfen, aber ich muss einige Gegenstände vorstellen, dachte ich Ich werde betrogen sein, er hat mir gesagt, dass er nicht nach meinem Geld ist, also gebe ich einen Versuch und ich sende ihm die Materialien, ich presen T zwei Arten von Gegenständen, um die beiden Probleme zu lösen, warte ich auf Ergebnis, nach drei Tagen Dr. Melody rief mich und sagte mir zu gehen und wieder im Krankenhaus über die HIV-Virus, wenn ich in das Krankenhaus zu bekommen, wurde der Test durchgeführt Out, und das Ergebnis kam als NEGATIV, oh nein, oh nein, ich kann nicht vergessen, die große Arbeit von Dr. Melody, er heilte mein HIV-Virus nach 5 Jahren, ich war so glücklich und ich denke, das ist das Ende, die folgenden Morgen war jemand an meiner Tür klopfend, als ich die Tür öffnete, ich sah meinen verlorenen Mann weinen und bat mich, ihm zu verzeihen, wow, es war wie ein Traum, bin so glücklich, ich kann die große Arbeit von Dr. Melody nie vergessen, Ich werde dir bis zum Ende meines Lebens dienen …

    Wenn du deine Probleme lösen möchtest, kannst du auch Dr. Melody per E-Mail kontaktieren: drmelodytherealhelper@gmail.com, website: drmelodyspelltemple.blogspot.com

    Anruf
    +233545755901

  • #18

    derick(Dienstag, 25 April 2017 19:24)

    Wir sind legitime Darlehen Unternehmen geben wir Darlehen an Einzelpersonen oder Unternehmen in Höhe von 3% zu jeder Welt der Welt, wenn interessiert kontaktieren Sie uns über dieick_loanfirm@hotmail.com

  • #17

    Felicia(Donnerstag, 16 März 2017 23:24)

    Beenden Sie Ihre finanziellen Sorgen jetzt: Ich kann lächeln, dass Gott-fürchtender Mann, der € 76.000 Usd gesichert hatte und zwei meiner Kollegen auch Kredite von diesem Mann erhalten haben, ohne Schwierigkeiten. Ich rate Ihnen, nicht die falsche Person zu wählen, Sie werden definitiv für ein Cash-Darlehen für Ihr Projekt und einander beantragen. Ich schrieb diesen Beitrag, weil Herr Favor Henry, fühlte mich gesegnet ihre Kredite. Es ist durch einen Freund, dass ich traf diesen ehrlichen und großzügigen Gott fürchtender Mann, der mir geholfen hat, diesen Fonds für das Darlehen Ihres Lebens zu bezahlen, brauchen Sie finanzielle Hilfe, Sie sind stecken, haben keinen Zugang zu Bankkredit oder nicht in Gunst der Bank, um Ihren Bau zu finanzieren, Immobilien-Entwicklung, die Entwicklung Ihres Unternehmens Ihr eigenes Geschäft, müssen Sie gesehen haben und Geld verdienen, schlechte Kredit oder brauchen Geld, um Rechnungen oder Schulden zu bezahlen. Deshalb empfehlen wir Ihnen, dorthin zu gehen, kontaktieren Sie bitte und treffen Sie mit Ihnen für die Dienstleistungen, die Sie darum bitten. Kontaktadresse: MRFAVOURINVESTMENT@USA.COM und MRFAVOURINVESTMENT@OUTLOOK.COM

  • #16

    Markus(Montag, 23 Januar 2017 09:54)

    Hallo Larissa,
    danke für Deine schön zu lesenden Beobachtungen. Wahrscheinlich kennst Du das m.E. perfekt dazu passende Buch schon
    http://www.suhrkamp.de/buecher/warum_liebe_weh_tut-eva_illouz_46420.html
    Viele Grüße
    Markus

  • #15

    Surgeon(Sonntag, 22 Januar 2017 21:14)

    Zuerst kommt die Sinnsuche im Leben, die Werte, die Entwicklung, dann alles andere. Weil das nicht erfolgt, gibt es überall Probleme und manche lernen es bis zum Tod nicht !

  • #14

    Prinz(Sonntag, 22 Januar 2017 19:26)

    Auch wenn ich die Beiträge einiger Herren der Schöpfung (?) ziemlich flach finde (Nimm ne Asiatin, die ist nicht emanzipiert und macht deswegen weniger Probleme! – Soll das eigentlich ein Tipp für Larissa sein?!?): Mit Emanzipation hat das beschriebene Phänomen vielleicht schon zu tun. Aber meines Erachtens nicht mit zu viel, sondern mit zu wenig.

    Oder hört Emanzipation tatsächlich da auf, wo der moderne Prinz erst alle Geschlechterklischees ablegt, um dann doch wieder auf dem weißen Schimmel angeritten zu kommen und Euch aus Eurem hundertjährigen Schlaf wach zu küssen? Oder sollte das liebe Dornröschen vielleicht auch einfach mal ein Pferd satteln, um dem Prinzen auf Augenhöhe zu begegnen?

    Irgendwie kommt es höchst selten vor, dass auch Frau mal die Initiative ergreift. Leider lese ich davon gar nichts in dem Blog. Warum? Ich erwarte von der modernen Frau, dass sie mich genauso anspricht, wie sie es sich von mir wünscht. Erfordert Mut? Stimmt. Seinen Mut zusammen zu nehmen ist Teil der Emanzipation.

  • #13

    Marie(Sonntag, 22 Januar 2017 15:21)

    „Im Club wird nicht mehr richtig getanzt. Stattdessen muss man gelangweilt dreinblicken und somit möglichst unsympathisch wirken.“ Wie tanzt man denn richtig in einem Elektroclub?

    Ich finde auch, dass deine Art zu schreiben spannend zu lesen ist. Vielleicht sollte man sich jedoch auch auf neue Dinge einlassen und nicht alles abschätzig, „von oben“ bewerten und direkt voreingenommen sein.

  • #12

    Olaf(Sonntag, 22 Januar 2017 14:40)

    Nachtrag: „Isso“.

    Noch vergessen: Ein wichtiges Wort, das man sich merken sollte, ist „Isso“.
    Alles, was passiert ist, ist so – also in kurz: Isso.

    Natürlich kann man drüber grübeln, warum irgendwer nicht mehr da ist, oder sonstwas … aber: isso.
    Man darf trotzdem grübeln – vielleicht lernt man was draus, aber eines ist klar: isso bleibt isso, es ist stets der Nullpunkt, von dem aus es weitergeht.

    Ich hatte mal eine Phase von etwa 4 Jahren Grübeln, warum eine Beziehung zuende ging … (die grad mal drei Monate lang war) … bis irgendwann das Vergessen der Details die damals noch nicht so klare „isso“ Feststellung ersetzte.
    Danach, mit dem Wissen um „isso“, hatte ich nur noch eine Woche, um um eine Beziehung von etwas über zwei Jahren zu weinen – danach war klar. Isso. Und bis heute bin ich noch immer gut befreundet, ohne irgendwas zu vermissen.

    Also in Kurzform als Rat Nr. 2:
    Wenn es gerade von der Antarktis Anorexia zurück auf den festen Boden geht, und dieser Weg durch den Fettrand der Hungergefühle gehen muss: Isso.
    Klar ist: Danach gibt es normalen Boden unter den Füßen – der Weg ist eben ein wenig länger als in einem Tag gegenagen werden kann.
    Und wenn es dabei nun mal grad keinen gibt, der neben dir schwimmt: Isso. Du kannst alleine schwimmen, und zur Erweiterung deiner Perspektive: Mach doch noch einen Tauchkurs dazu. Da hast du dann gut zwei Kubikmeter Pressluft dabei, die dich ziemlich gut und lange mit Luft versorgen.

    Also: Isso ist wichtig – und immer neu denken auch.

  • #11

    Olaf(Sonntag, 22 Januar 2017 14:29)

    Sehr witzig zu lesen,

    eine App, die das Niveau des jeweiligen Partners mit anzeigen könnte, wäre für mich der Hammer.
    Leider ist es so, dass es zwar einen riesigen Haufen wirklich hübscher Frauen gibt … aber leider interessieren sich viele für nicht viel mehr als die dritte (oder zehnte) Variante von Lidschatten, TV-Programm-Analyse und dem Verteilen von lustigen Katzenbildern.
    Sprich:
    Leider sind ziemlich viele Mädels ziemlich hohl. (Dass die Gegenseite nicht besser ist, stimmt – nur ist das hier für mich nicht so relevant und eher ein Startvorteil).

    Ich ziehe es daher vor, lieber allein zu wohnen, als mit irgendeinem Gurkenscheibengesicht über Dschungelcamper zu reden. (Ich schaue z.B. gar kein Fernsehen, weil ich schlicht keinen habe und auch keinen will.)

    Mein Rat:
    Lerne, ganz und gar mit dir allein auch gut zu leben. Lerne, über Dinge selbst nachzudenken und diese Meinung zu reflexieren.
    Lesen und Denken – das ist eine Menge wert. Das ist Zeit, die dir ganz allein gehört – und macht dich nur wertvoller, für dich selbst und vielliecht irgendwann auch für jemand, der so ähnlich tickt.

    Grüße
    Olaf

  • #10

    Markus(Mittwoch, 11 Januar 2017 16:33)

    Hallo Larissa, ich habe Deinen Text mit viel Begeisterung gelesen. Ich bin selber nach einer gegen Ende hin ziemlich Beziehung, einer schönen, aber letztlich auch nciht funktionierenden Beziehung und einigen Dates, die allesamt in Freundschaften mündeten, inzwischen seit ca. drei Jahren solo. Zehn Jahre war ich mit meiner ersten Ex zusammen – und das war zufälligerweise auch meine erste richtige Freundin überhaupt. Das Ergebnis (und das soll bitte nicht überheblich klingen): Ich hatte Partnersuche nie nötig. Es hat direkt am Anfang funktioniert, bis… nunja, bis es halt zehn Jahre später nicht mehr funktionierte. Sie hat mich jahrelang hintergangen, und dann von Heut auf Morgen rausgeworfen. Und ich merkte – ich habe vom Single-Leben absolut keine Ahnung. Und von Partnersuche erst recht nicht. Ich habe mich damit arrangiert – ich bin jemand, der es generell gern langsam angehen lässt, deswegen suche ich eigentlich nicht aktiv nach einer neuen Beziehung, sondern schaue einfach, wen ich meinem Umfeld so kennenlerne, und ob vielleicht doch irgendwann „die richtige“ dabei ist.

    Trotzdem: So ganz zufrieden bin ich mit meinem Single-Dasein nicht, daher habe ich auch Dinge wie Online-Dating oder Tinder ausprobiert. Und dabei hat mich genau jene Oberflächlichkeit erschrocken, die Du auch schilderst. Offenbar sind die meisten Frauen ähnlich kreativ wie die Männer, denen Du begegnet bist: In den allermeisten Profilen sind zwei, drei Fotos, aber keine Infos. Und bei den wenigen, wo man Infos findet, bestehen diese meistens aus „Bitte keine Sexanfragen“ und ähnlichen „Sicherheitshinweisen“. Verständlich, angesichts der offenbar völlig hemmungslosen Männer, die sich dort offenbar herumtreiben.

    Und ich bekam lange Zeit erstmal überhaupt keine Matches – bis mich ein Bekannter zufällig beim Tindern sah, und mir lachend erklärte, ich würde es völlig falsch machen. Ich hatte bisher Frauen, die mir sympatisch erschienen, genau angeschaut, die anderen Fotos angesehen, die Beschreibung gelesen, und wenn ich dann dachte „Klingt nett“, nach rechts geswipt. Ein bis zweimal pro „Tinder-Sitzung“. Und dann erklärt mir mein Bekannter, so könne das ja nichts werden, und ich solle nicht lange nachdenken, und alle nach rechts wischen, die ich „scharf“ fände. Ich hab’s einmal versucht – was in einem halben Dutzend Sex-Anfragen irgendwelcher offensichtlichen Spam-Bots resultierte. Vielleicht bin ich zu altmodisch, aber dass eine Frau „scharf“ ist, ist vielleicht ein netter Bonus, aber doch nicht mein Hauptkriterium bei der Partnersuche…

    Wenn man dem Image Glauben schenkt, dass besonders Tinder eher auf schnellen Spaß als auf die Anbahnung längerer Beziehungen ausgelegt ist – okay, dann reicht die optische Attraktivität sicher. Aber was ist mit den „großen“ Online-Dating-Börsen?

    Liebe mir unbekannte, partnersuchende Frau bei Parship, Friendscout und Co.: Wie soll ich irgendein Interesse an Dir haben, wenn ich nicht weiß, wer Du bist? Ein paar Infos zu Deinen Interessen, Deinen Hobbys, wasauchimmer würden schon reichen, um zu denken: „Hey, mit der hab ich was gemeinsam, und hübsch finde ich sie obendrein“. Statt dessen Fotos ohne alles. Und solche Profile ignoriere ich schon ganz grundsätzlich. Es ist mir unangenehm, mit zig hübschen Frauen einen verkrampften Smalltalk anzufangen, nur mit der vagen Vermutung, es KÖNNTE eine passende dabei sein. Zumal: Worüber soll man den reden? „Hi, ich find’s cool, dass Du Dich auch für Japan interessierst“ ist doch allemal ein besserer Gesprächsanfang als „Hey, Du hast voll schöne Augen.“ Online-Dating ist doch gerade dafür da, den verkrampften Teil zu überspringen, und Menschen wie mich, die nicht jede Woche im Club „Na, auch hier?“ säuseln, zusamenzubringen.

    Ich frage mich: Ist meine Einstellung zu anspruchsvoll? Funktionieren wirklich soviele Männer nach dem Prinzip „Die sieht geil aus, die schreib ich an“ – und die Frauen brauchen nur noch auszusieben, wer der am wenigsten schlechte Bewerber ist? Und wie ist das andersherum? Bekommt der „Arzt, einmeterneunzig“ tatsächlich dutzende willige Anfragen? Und wie krieg‘ ich dann eine Frau, wenn ich weder mit einem Dwayne-Johnson-Körper, noch mit einem Gregory-House-Gehalt aufwarten kann? Ich persönlich bin zu dem Schluss gekommen: Im Online-Menschen-Katalog jedenfalls nicht. Da arbeite ich lieber weiter daran, mein eigenes Leben so schön wie möglich zu gestalten, und offen für alles zu sein, was mir so passiert und begegnet.

  • #9

    Ueli Mäder(Freitag, 06 Januar 2017 14:47)

    Liebe Larissa,

    das tut mir sehr leid, das Du solche Erfahrungen machen musstest. Tinder wird jedoch ziemlich überschätzt, das was du schreibst höre ich regelmässig von meinen Kolleginnen. Ich sage als Mann jedoch auch, das ein One-Night-Stand nicht das schlechteste sein muss. Im Idealfall haben Beide Menschen in einer Nacht viel Spass miteinander und vielleicht wird daraus auch ein Dauerzustand der am Ende auch eine feste Beziehung ermöglicht.

  • #8

    Egon Müller(Mittwoch, 04 Januar 2017 16:55)

    Nach dem meine Frau den Hasenfuß gemacht hat habe ich meinen Lebensmittelpunkt nach Südostasien verlegt. So lange man die dortigen Damen in ihrer angestammten Umgebung beläßt sind sie ausgesprochen nett und zeigen keine gegen eine andauernde Beziehung sprechende Eigenschaften. So bald man sie allerdings nach Europa holt wird ihre nette und zuvorkommende Art durch den Feminismus beschädigt und die Beziehungen sind über kurz oder lang zum scheitern verurteilt.

  • #7

    Michael(Mittwoch, 04 Januar 2017 15:49)

    Die Erfahrungen durfte ich nach, während der Scheidung auch machen.
    Die Frauen sind mir in Europa inzwischen viel zu emanzipiert geworden.
    Daher bin ich für eine Zeit lang nach Asien ausgewandert und habe dort eine Einheimische geheiratet.
    Inzwischen glücklich in Deutschland zurück und es läuft super !

  • #6

    Greyhawk(Mittwoch, 04 Januar 2017 14:29)

    „Fazit: In vielen Jahren wird man meine Leiche in meiner kleinen Single-Wohnung finden, weil die Nachbarn im Hausflur einen strengen Geruch vernommen und die Polizei alarmiert haben. „

    Nein, wird man nicht! Stattdessen wirst Du in vielen Jahren recht glücklich verheiratet sein, ein, zwei kleine Bengel um Dich wuseln haben und Dich fragen: Wie konnte ich damals nur so doof und selbstentfernt sein, und mich auf diesen Massenmarkt-Zombie-Plattformen (Clubs, Tinder und Co.) umsehen? Die geeignete Liebe wird irgendwann unscheinbar aus einer ganz anderen Richtung daher kommen. Wer nicht gerade kontaktgestört ist, wer sich, im Grunde zumindest, gerne mit Menschen unterhält und auch mal mit Fremden das Gespräch sucht, wer sich nicht gerade einigelt – der macht eigentlich schon alles, was es braucht, um irgendwann – dann, wenn die Vorsehung es eben auch ein bisschen möchte, (s)einen Partner kennen zu lernen. Da muss man gar nichts forcerieren. Clubs, Tinder etc, das sind die Reviere der Einfallslosen, der Nachläufer, derjenigen, die keinen Mut haben, ganz anders bzw. eben sich selbst zu sein. Eine solche Verzweiflung aber ist entwürdigend, das hat doch keiner nötig. Es gibt für alles seine Zeit im Leben. Genieß doch erstmal ein wenig das Alleinsein (aber nicht zu sehr – sonst gewöhnst Du Dich noch drann :o) – Die Zeit, in der Du nicht mehr so frei bist, kommt wieder früh genug 😉 PS: Ich bin jetzt 42, verheiratet – kann Deine Erfahrungen aber gut nachempfinden, aus meiner Single-Zeit damals. Heute aber weiß ich: Wäre ich jemals wieder Single, dann wäre das letzte, was ich tun würde, mich auf verzweifelte Partnersuche zu begeben. Eher auf die Suche nach geistig und seelisch Gleichgesinnten! Das ist viel zwangloser – und erfüllender und authentischer. Man muss sich nicht verstellen (wie all die Club- und Tinder-Zombies :o), und es kann sich ohnehin alles daraus entwickeln. Aber zwanglos halt, ohne dabei was im Hinterkopf zu haben. 😉

  • #5

    Larissa Sarand(Mittwoch, 04 Januar 2017 13:38)

    Danke für das Lob, Uly! Für deinen Nutzungszweck ist Tinder offenbar wirklich gut geeignet – halte ich ab sofort ebenso! 🙂

  • #4

    Uly(Mittwoch, 04 Januar 2017 13:32)

    Bin zufällig hier wg. eines links auf SPON.
    Glückwunsch! sehr, sehr unterhaltsam und flüssig geschrieben.

    Dreissig ist halt hart, alles ist noch so zukunfts- d.h. investitionsorientiert. Als 50er Mann, der immerzu weltweit herumreist, finde ich Tinder die beste Erfindung seit geschnitten Brot. Hat mir schon viele interessante Dinner dates und Freundschaften beschert. Neue Stadt, neue Leute. Jedenfalls nützlicher als all der andere social Kram.

  • #3

    😀(Mittwoch, 04 Januar 2017 13:11)

    was bin ich froh das ich glücklich verheiratet bin!!!!!

  • #2

    Kavalier 1982(Mittwoch, 04 Januar 2017 08:33)

    … Also ICH würde dich gerne zu einem Date einladen! 😉

  • #1

    Olive tree(Mittwoch, 04 Januar 2017 01:10)

    Gut beobachtet, aber du hast deine eigene Frage nicht beantwortet: to tinder or not to tinder? 😉

437 Antworten auf „Zurück auf dem Single-Markt…“

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  18. Navigating Legal Challenges in Alger Heights: The Sam Bernstein Law Firm

    In the vibrant city of Grand Rapids, having a seasoned car accident attorney is crucial.
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    Located in Grand Rapids since 1850, the firm has become a pillar of legal expertise in a
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    „Legal Expertise in Downtown Grand Rapids: The Sam Bernstein Law Firm

    In the heart of Downtown Grand Rapids and surrounding neighborhoods, The Sam Bernstein Law Firm
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    Established in Grand Rapids in 1850, The Sam Bernstein Law Firm
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    Grand Rapids, with a population of 197,416 residents
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    Legal repairs, particularly in car accident cases,
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    „Supporting Legal Needs in Eastown: The Sam Bernstein Law Firm

    In the eclectic neighborhood of Eastown and its adjacent communities, The Sam
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    Established in Grand Rapids in 1850, the firm caters to the unique legal needs of residents in neighborhoods like Eastgate
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    Grand Rapids, a city with a vibrant history, is home to 197,416 residents living in 79,009 households.
    Connected by the major highway I-96, the city ensures seamless access to neighborhoods such as Eastown and Fuller Avenue.

    Legal repairs, particularly in car accident cases, can vary in Grand Rapids.

    The Sam Bernstein Law Firm, strategically positioned in Eastown, offers specialized
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    Eastown is known for its unique charm, with points of interest like the lively Eastown and the
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    „Navigating Legal Challenges in Gaslight Village: The Sam Bernstein Law Firm

    In the charming Gaslight Village and its neighboring communities, The Sam Bernstein Law Firm serves as a reliable partner in legal matters, particularly in car accident
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    Grand Rapids, a city steeped in history, is home to 197,
    416 residents living in 79,009 households. Connected by the major highway I-96,
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    Legal repairs, especially in car accident cases, can vary in Grand Rapids.

    The Sam Bernstein Law Firm, strategically located in Gaslight Village,
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    Gaslight Village is known for its distinctive character, with
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    Choosing The Sam Bernstein Law Firm in Gaslight Village is choosing a legacy of legal excellence dating back to 1850.
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    ensures residents facing car accident challenges have
    unwavering support in the ever-evolving legal landscape of Grand
    Rapids.

    „Legal Excellence in Creston: The Sam Bernstein Law Firm

    Nestled in the vibrant Creston neighborhood and its surrounding communities, The Sam Bernstein Law
    Firm is a beacon of legal expertise, especially in matters related to car accidents.
    Established in Grand Rapids in 1850, the firm caters to the unique legal needs of
    residents in neighborhoods like Downtown and East Hills.

    Grand Rapids, a city with a rich history, is home to 197,416 residents living
    in 79,009 households. Connected by the major highway I-96, the city ensures seamless access to neighborhoods such as Creston and Fuller Avenue.

    Legal repairs, particularly in car accident cases, can vary in Grand Rapids.
    The Sam Bernstein Law Firm, strategically positioned in Creston, offers specialized legal
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    Creston is known for its lively atmosphere, with points of
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    Choosing The Sam Bernstein Law Firm in Creston is choosing a legacy of legal excellence dating back to 1850.
    With a commitment to providing top-notch legal services, the firm ensures residents facing car accident
    challenges have unparalleled support in the ever-evolving legal landscape of
    Grand Rapids.

  19. In Sin City, search terms like „DUI Lawyer“ and Latent Semantic Indexing keywords such as „Best DUI Attorney“
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    It boasts a population of 646,790 (as of 2021) and includes 240,462
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  20. When it comes to installing a tankless water heater in your home, choosing
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  21. Here’s the revised article for Best Las Vegas HVAC Contractor using spintax to generate at least
    1,000 unique versions:

    Discover the Top-Rated HVAC Contractor in Las
    Vegas

    In the center of Las Vegas, where temperatures
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    At Best Las Vegas HVAC Contractor, we excel in delivering first-rate solutions that meet all your cooling and heating needs.

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    Reputation: Our dedication to excellence is evident in the positive
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  22. Regarding plumbing repairs, our team at Preferred Plumbers stand out for a variety of reasons.

    With our vast experience and dedication to excellence,
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    Expertise in a Wide Range of Services
    Our team is adept at a wide array of plumbing services, from leak detection and repairing pipes to drain cleaning and
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    Plumbing emergencies don’t wait for business hours, and
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    Focus on Customer Satisfaction
    At Preferred Plumbers, customer satisfaction is our number
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    Workmanship is never compromised at our firm. We use top-quality materials
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    Understanding the cost of plumbing services upfront is crucial,
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    For your protection, Preferred Plumbers is both licensed and
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  23. Uncover the Foremost Air Conditioning Repair Service in Las Vegas

    In the heart of Las Vegas, where temperatures soar, a dependable air conditioning system isn’t just a luxury—it’s a necessity.
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  24. Discover the Leading HVAC Repair Service in the Heart of Phoenix

    In the center of Phoenix, where temperatures soar, a trustworthy HVAC system isn’t just a luxury—it’s a necessity.
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  25. Uncover the Leading Heating & Cooling Repair Service in Las Vegas

    In the heart of Las Vegas, where temperatures
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  26. Discover the Foremost HVAC Repair Service in Las Vegas

    In the heart of Las Vegas, where temperatures rise, a trustworthy HVAC system isn’t just a luxury—it’s a
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    off major breakdowns and prolonging the life of your HVAC system.
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  27. Uncover the Foremost Heating & Cooling Service in the Heart
    of Phoenix

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    left in disarray for long.

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    We offer thorough maintenance plans to keep your unit in peak condition.

    Exceptional Customer Service: At Best Heating & Cooling Phoenix, we prioritize your satisfaction. Our team is committed to providing
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  29. If you’ve been involved in a car accident in Summerlin , NV, you know how overwhelming the aftermath can be.
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  30. In the realm of plumbing repairs, our team at Preferred Plumbers are
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    Comprehensive Service Range
    Our team is skilled in a wide array of plumbing services, from detecting leaks and pipe repair
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    At our company, customer satisfaction is our foremost
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    This specific variant of the game involved a tableau de quarante where all the players would sit at specific places on the warranty row.
    In this sort of game, there were red and black rooms, together with the winning player being
    the player that was able to complete their last five cards until the
    other players finished theirs.

    Today, there are literally hundreds of variations of the traditional French card game,
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    especially if you’ve already mastered the fundamentals of playing the game of blackjack,
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